From Grief to Acceptance

In the same way that life doesn't hand us a 'how to' manual, we aren't handed an immunity pin when it comes to grief – or any negative emotion, for that matter.

Grief, as I've come to understand, is a reminder of how deeply we have loved and how deeply we are connected. Yet beneath its weight, life energy continues to flow, gently nudging us to rise again. This last year has been quite an example of this.

The example I speak of is one person in particular, who has, in spite of physical limitations, shown us how grief can be channelized, transformed and transcended through creative expression.

As hard as it was watching her go through the pain of separation since Mum transitioned, I knew that the best way to help was not to force, poke or prod, but to allow. To allow her to be, to feel, to cry, to wrap her thoughts around this new reality, and her heart around acceptance in ways she knew best, and in her own time.

And process it she did, in a way that has baffled all of us. She turned to the one thing she does best – writing. Her writing journey started after Dad transitioned. That was 30 years ago, but a very strong reference point and an inner resource she drew on quite naturally. Slowly, but steadily writing helped her to rise, as she poured her heart into poetry again, churning out over 30 poems this last year alone. She has written short stories, over 200 poems, and 50 songs that were composed and sung.

Her life's work of writing has now manifested in her first published book titled 'Straight from the Heart: 100 Poems of Love.' It features love in its different forms, as experienced through every season of her life – from gentle affection, to her circle of kin, through lessons of the heart, heartstrings and divine grace. Suffice to say her poems will tug at your heart-strings long after the last page.

The person I speak of is my youngest sibling, Suzanne. To those who don't know her, she came into this world with a rare neurological condition and with special needs. Timely medical intervention, combined with the power of faith, spared her from irreparable impairment, leaving her limited only partially in mobility and dexterity. This aside, she has been truly blessed with mental faculties that outshine her physical limitations in more ways than one. Her most inspiring forms of creative expression being songwriting, poetry and baking. And when she isn't writing, she's churning out lip-smacking cakes and desserts at her home run venture, Suzanne's Bakes. She was homeschooled, attended private tutoring, and certified in basic computer skills.

This book is her lifetime achievement, and hopefully just the beginning of grief recontextualized not only for herself, but for anyone who's had their share of grief.

She still misses Mum. We all do. Tears come to go, but the inner experience is that of healing, of love, of graceful presence.

~ Yolanda Gonsalves